Take. In. One. Deep. Breath.
And now the day can start.
Time running not in seconds
But by the beating of my heart.
Each year this day gets harder
As I sit inside my mind,
Alone in the vast nothingness,
My heart’s still keeping time.
A memory emerges,
Echoing round my skull.
I ignore as it grows deafening
Just waiting for a lull.
Life now is greatly different
And the day must still get done,
I carry on as best I can
But another echo comes.
I’m transported back to this day
All those years ago,
The last full day that you would live
Comes back to me so slow.
The clock hands move around its face
And like alarms I’ve never set,
That day plays out in memories
Echoing louder lest I forget.
My world continues spinning,
For moments I can join back in,
But on the beating of my heart
I’m pulled back to the void again.
Some echoes I choose to embrace,
And those bring you in so close.
Other I have to push aside
As they still hurt the most.
As this day draws to its end
And it’s pressures put to bed,
I chose to return a while
To the cavern in my head.
I call on those memories
That before I pushed away,
To ensure I still remember
Every detail of that day.
And though it’s hard to venture back,
And though many tears are shed.
The echoes of this day
Are held in both my heart and head.
As the years continue onward
I fear about leaving you behind.
But you echo every second
In my heart and in my mind.
Now finally I can breath out,
Another anniversary got through.
But how I still long, to give every breath
I take, to you.
